is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
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We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
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I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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