it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I wish you could order shots online.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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