She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just high enough for therapy.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
