Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
