If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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