Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
