everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
