...so i touched it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
