are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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