oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
