**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
