You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
