Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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