Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
