How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
