were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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