this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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