im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
