Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
