Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
