Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
