would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
