You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
this will be a night to untag.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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