Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
