Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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