I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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