yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
