when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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