Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
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i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
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I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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