shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
