So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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