Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
