I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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