He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
