this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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