I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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