What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize