I like my sex mixed with concussions.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
