there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
That was before I lit my hair on fire
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
