I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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