There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Randomize
