Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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