drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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