I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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