It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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