I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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