Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
