Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
