evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Randomize
