Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
