Me too!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
