dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
