No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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