dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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