worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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