Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she told me i tasted like america
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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