My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
