I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You made out with two different species that night
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
