mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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