I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
