he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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