We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
