There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
